Thoughts

"Marriage is a gift from God to us; the quality of our marriages is a gift from us to Him."

 Elder L. Whitney Clayton (Marriage: Watch and Learn)

Ever since I heard this quote in General Conference this last weekend I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. 

 My parents have a marriage that I would say 99% of people would envy. I have never seen them fight or argue, they don't yell, and often seldom get upset. As a kid I would become extremely confused and scared when my friends would tell me their parents yelled and fought, or when I would be at a friends house and hear a parent yelling or become angry. The older I got the more I realized that my parents marriage is something very rare and special. I came to realize that a lot of marriages fall apart. There is a lot of deceit, anger, regret, dishonesty, and not a lot of love.

I'm not a risk taker. Change terrifies me. The unknown and not having control of what or how someone else might feel brings me a lot of anxiety and so as I grew older I became afraid of marriage. I decided that marriage wasn't something for me and I would enjoy life alone with no one else to worry about but myself.

Obviously my plan failed. Thank goodness. 

I found someone who loves me unconditionally. He loves me through all my faults and hard times. Our marriage is no where near perfect but I don't have a doubt in my mind that he will always be there for me...and I get him for all eternity. 

I have been given this gift of marriage, and I know it wasn't given to me by chance or fait. It was given to me because my Heavenly Father knew I needed him, because without him I wouldn't be able to live, as I thought I could, alone.

The quote from Elder Clayton has made me think about my quality of marriage. Is it the way I want it? Or am I letting it become like all of those marrages I have been so terrified of? Is my quality of marriage the gift I would want to give back?

We have a lot of life left to live. A lot of hard times ahead and good times to come. I hope I make it count. I hope we can make our marriage a gift to those around us, ourselves, and to our Father that gave us everything.